Sunday 16 September 2012

Why Did Nobody Tell Me?

Pre-Little Bean I did my homework. I read every pregnancy manual/website around so I knew when her eyelids would be developing, when to expect indigestion, and how long stage two labour would likely take.

The big day came, everything went (relatively) smoothly. All the carefully curated knowledge I'd assimilated in the preceding nine months was a huge help and I felt decidely smug at being so well prepared.

And then…I came to the shocking realisation that I had done absolutely no reading about post-birth. I didn’t even know which way round a nappy went. This was not good.

Luckily (or unluckily depending on how you look at it) I had lots of reading time, usually in the wee hours when feeding. The pregnancy books were quickly replaced with the most popular baby-rearing books (you know which ones I mean). My plan was to read as many schools of thought as I could and then come to my own conclusions. One of them must suit my/our lifestyle?

Apparently not. My Little Bean had obviously not done her homework either and wasn't giving any of the clear signals indicating hunger, tiredness, over-stimulation etc. that all babies are supposed to. Instead she went from happy baby to manically unhappy baby within a few seconds, with no eye-rubbing, glassy staring, opening of mouth or anything else to give us the slightest inkling what we should be preparing for. We were reactive rather than proactive in my house.

The manuals, I have to say were all pretty useless. I got most of my info from the internet, googling random searches like ‘why won’t my baby go to sleep?’, ‘will I go to hell for giving her a dummy?’, ‘is it acceptable to kick in the shins the next person who tells me theirs slept through the night from week one?’

Tips from other mothers were a godsend, online forums a lifesaver and founts of anecdotal but incredibly useful information. Which is why I highly recommend this book.

Why did Nobody Tell Me Mumsnet


Drawn from the message boards of Mumsnet.com it’s full of useful tips and observations from other mums sharing their wit, wisdom and frustration. My favourite chapters include 'Drink wine and hide: the art of playdates', 'Don't call it a Twinkle', 'Let them eat dirt', 'Don't buy a Moses basket' and 'If you prefer his brother, take it to the grave'.

My advice for new mums (because as a mum already I am now qualified to dispense uncalled for advice at any given moment) is to save yourself a fortune in baby manuals and rather find your own parenting way through other mum’s input, common sense and trial and error. And if you need a laugh, because let’s face it the only way you can get through parenthood is by hanging on to your sense of humour for all you’re worth, then treat yourself to this book to keep you entertained during the early hours. You’ll soon discover, that no, it’s not just you.

Why did nobody tell me? They just did.

*This book was sent to me by the publishers for review

14 comments:

  1. "(because as a mum already I am now qualified to dispense uncalled for advice at any given moment)"

    ^ This. I love this.

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    1. It's true - just wait till I'm a mother in law - I'll get my own back ;)

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    2. Hah! Now there's something to look forward to!

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  2. I was the same and didn't read any post birth books. Thank goodness - I don't think I would ever have had children if I knew what it was like.

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    1. Yes, there is something to be said for blissful ignorance...

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  3. Oh I can relate to this - what's very annoying about a lot of these post birth baby books is that most of the authors don't have children of their own - advice and support from other mums is the right way to go. I did read some very helpful books on children's sleep though.

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    1. Agreed! Some of them did feel a bit..disconnected? Oxfam got a fair few donations to their book aisle in any case.

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  4. Here here! No need for manuals at all as our babies are the best teachers:) I remember having my first and feeling the same as you- I had focused so much on being pregnant that I hadn't actually given much thought to the fact that I was going to have a baby!!

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  5. So true - I never read any parenting books and quickly gave up on magazines. Any time I needed a bit of advice I'd just hop online and ask other mums ;) Within months you're na expert on your own baby any way! xxx

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    1. I wish I hadn't confused myself either. You do get conned in to the 'we will revolutionise your life' spiel!

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  6. The irony of it all is..by the time you realise you might need some of the information contained in these post birth books..you don't have the time to read them. I couldn't even find the time to finish a cup of tea in those first few months. I did however, buy Dr Karp's 'The Happiest Baby on the Block' DVD, which had some great tips I was able to digest during a BF session on the sofa. Made me wonder, why don't they put more of these things on DVD for time starved, tired mums? I found it much easier to digest something in 30 mins with demonstrations rather than try and wade through a book whilst readjusting the matchsticks holding my eyes open!

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    1. Ah, a DVD. That's be much easier to watch. I do remember our midwife giving me a video about how to breastfeed, although hilariously the only copy she had was on an old beta video tape!

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  7. Funnily enough I was just chatting to someone about the need for this sort of book! The truth behind being a parent!! It sounds like a great read!

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